So many people live their lives trying to please everyone else. Sometimes it's just one person we become obsessed with pleasing, like a parent who doesn't show enough affection or approval, or that guy that won't commit. Other times we are afraid to say "no" to others because we are afraid of what they will think of us. Oprah refers to this as the Disease to Please. I know this disease, but I'm proud to say that one fine day I decided it was time to say "no" even though it meant that I would disappoint others.
That day is the day I decided to leave a bad marriage. I was young, in debt and terribly unhappy. No one had ever coached me to know that I deserved to be happy...heck, happiness wasn't on the list of things that girls of my generation could expect, let alone insist upon. Yet, somehow I found the courage I needed to leave, against everyone's wishes and expectations and I've never looked back. That was 1992.
Getting to the point where I had enough courage and wisdom to choose happiness over tradition was no easy road. It's not easy to break tradition, to disappoint people close to you all in the name of your own happiness but I had envisioned my future and I knew that my life would continue to be miserable if I didn't make a move. Some little voice told me that I deserved better. When I left I had a mortgage that was bigger than the resale value of house and my ex wasn't helping me pay for it. I was broke. From the outside it looked like I had made a big mistake but from the inside I knew that no matter what, despite the fact that I was broke I was better off alone.
Everything I had learned about women's roles in a marriage, in a family and in society came crumbling down. It was awesome! This dissolution of old beliefs allowed me to redefine who I was and who I could become. It was the best thing I ever could have done for myself.
You can read more about my false beliefs, how I got them and how I change them (I use present tense because it's ongoing) and how you can identify your own false beliefs in my new book Home Worthy. I'm looking forward to a Spring 2020 release.
Post your questions and comments please! I'd love to know what your false beliefs are and learn about your success in overcoming them.