Here's an excerpt from Home Worthy by Sandra Rinomato:
You cannot succeed in buying real estate in Toronto if you are wishy washy because it’s far too challenging! It’s very competitive, each situation is different, there is no cookie-cutter process and you must be determined to achieve the goal of home ownership or you will fail. There are too many decisions to make, too many naysayers whose opinions will convince you to alter your course and oftentimes you would be forced to make a decision on the fly with no time to deliberate. I mean it’s tough! So to sit there and say you aren’t sure if you want to buy I know what the answer is going to be. If there is a shadow of a doubt about wanting to buy real estate in Toronto you’d be wasting your time if you tried in that state of mind.
Lily’s motivation was to be on her own, which was already outside the box thinking for her. She did not have the motivation or desire to buy a home at that time and therefore she did not have the goal to become a homeowner. I wanted to prevent her from failing because that one failure could become the reason why she would hold herself back for years to come, and not just with real estate but with every aspect of her life. She was prepared to take baby steps, which is totally fine. She wanted to play small and that’s not a problem; she could go at her own pace or perhaps she would not play at all. For the average person, hassles and obstacles are good enough reasons to play small or not at all.
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It's ok if you aren't ready to commit to buying real estate. One thing I really want to stress is that if you have a goal you have to commit to it. If you aren't committed, if you are just kind of thinking about it, or you are going "see if you can do it" chances are you won't. Lily had her own reasons why she wasn't ready to commit to the goal of real estate, like so many other people do. Some of those reasons are legit, others are not. The others are simply things we've made up in our heads. When we let those made-up things hold us back we lose. Every single time. So let's start a conversation about goal setting. It doesn't even have to be about real estate, or it could be all about real estate. It's up to you. Don't let fear or false beliefs hold you back from living your best life.
I heard Dean Graziosi say something like this: Imagine you're dead and you find out there is a "superior being" and She says to you, "Hey, how did you make out? Did you live a GREAT life?" and you respond that your life was OK, good even, but mostly just OK. And She asks why you didn't make it GREAT. You say all kinds of things like, "I was single so I never bought my own home and suffered financially the rest of my life....or.....I didn't think I could or should break tradition and do things I wanted to do....or....I didn't allow myself to dream of things I really wanted to do, so I did the things I was obligated to do, or what was expected of me." (fill in the blanks yourself here) So, She shakes her head and laments, "I created you, I put you on earth, I gave you free will and a brain that was the best in the animal kingdom and you squandered it! You blew your chance! And that's all there was for you."
Imagine how you would feel. Don't let that happen to you. Let's start living your GREAT life. Reach out to me, sign up for news on www.homeworthybook.com and let's get you into the right frame of mind to bust all of those weak objections that seem so strong. Come on, I'm waiting to do this with you.
Do it now!
So many people live their lives trying to please everyone else. Sometimes it's just one person we become obsessed with pleasing, like a parent who doesn't show enough affection or approval, or that guy that won't commit. Other times we are afraid to say "no" to others because we are afraid of what they will think of us. Oprah refers to this as the Disease to Please. I know this disease, but I'm proud to say that one fine day I decided it was time to say "no" even though it meant that I would disappoint others.
That day is the day I decided to leave a bad marriage. I was young, in debt and terribly unhappy. No one had ever coached me to know that I deserved to be happy...heck, happiness wasn't on the list of things that girls of my generation could expect, let alone insist upon. Yet, somehow I found the courage I needed to leave, against everyone's wishes and expectations and I've never looked back. That was 1992.
Getting to the point where I had enough courage and wisdom to choose happiness over tradition was no easy road. It's not easy to break tradition, to disappoint people close to you all in the name of your own happiness but I had envisioned my future and I knew that my life would continue to be miserable if I didn't make a move. Some little voice told me that I deserved better. When I left I had a mortgage that was bigger than the resale value of house and my ex wasn't helping me pay for it. I was broke. From the outside it looked like I had made a big mistake but from the inside I knew that no matter what, despite the fact that I was broke I was better off alone.
Everything I had learned about women's roles in a marriage, in a family and in society came crumbling down. It was awesome! This dissolution of old beliefs allowed me to redefine who I was and who I could become. It was the best thing I ever could have done for myself.
You can read more about my false beliefs, how I got them and how I change them (I use present tense because it's ongoing) and how you can identify your own false beliefs in my new book Home Worthy. I'm looking forward to a Spring 2020 release.
Post your questions and comments please! I'd love to know what your false beliefs are and learn about your success in overcoming them.
In Canada, about 20- 25% of buyers are single women… only 10% of buyers are single men.